im still exhausted from beating all the other sperms

(Source: suicide-scars, via crystallized-teardrops)


how do i get abs without doing anything

(via loserslol)


if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that zac efron has a yolo tattoo

(via seedy)

how do i stop growing up this isn’t fun anymore

(via crystallized-teardrops)


i need a paid break from life

(via loserslol)



If ur tongue can go faster than my vibrator u win.

but can your vibrator spit on you tho?

can your vibrator zangief pile drive you and put you in a headlock tho?

can your vibrator finish in 3 minutes and tell you to go cook some and slap your ass when you gettin off the bed and ask if you paid his phone bill tho?

(via princessbrat7)


can’t wait to own dogs with u

(via fake-mermaid)